Waves

I've fallen deeply in love with surfing. Its by far the most challenging physical thing I have ever attempted in my life. I didnt think I would be able to make it happen. I have horrible balance which friends and family can attest to. I hate swimming. I didnt grow up around the ocean. The stars were not aligned in my favor when it came to this sport. This was not going to be like trying out for rec league soccer.

The first time I went out in the water with Ramin I thought I might die. These "huge" waves towering over me pummelled me into the sand and threw me every which way. It was fucking scary. I didnt catch any waves. I just paddled to the outside and sat there catching my breath praying that I wouldnt get crushed again.

Later I learned that those "huge fucking waves" were in the 3-6 foot range. Not so huge. I continued charging out there, paddling out when I shouldnt have even tried and trying to catch waves that were never going to be caught. It was painful. I went "over the falls", I face planted, I ate shit, drank plenty of salt water, got thrashed and generally got my ass handed to me by the Pacific Ocean. Theres a lot of all those things still going on today of course, but there is one notable experience of which those first trips are totally bereft: catching waves.

I paddled a lot. Indeed, the only words that my faithful coach siad to me those first times out were "paddle" (best repeated 10-20 times in a row) and "bail" (when the first command didnt get me in the right spot). And then one day, I went to a beach north of the city, on a sunny day, all by myself. The waves were small. The shortboarders had elected to stay at home, lacking the walled-up and sizable waves they needed. And what happened? I caught waves. Several of them. I paddled - keeping the mantra in my head always - and went to stand up. I of course fell down a lot, both on my board, in the water and onto the sand. But I got right back up again. And by god I surfed that day. The biggest problem I had was keeping the incessant shit eating grin on my face under control enough to not intake a ton of water while paddling.

And I continued to get thrashed. Ocean Beach, the break of my fair city, is not forgiving. It gets huge. The white water alone during the paddle out will reach well over 6 feet in height. thats not easy to get around with an 8 foot board. Some days I didnt make it out. Walk of shame. Not good. Most days though, I didnt make it out on the first try but I'll be damned if I didnt try again. I would get tossed in a bad way but come back. We all do. Its part of the experience. Its when you know you really love it. When you enjoy that beating because it helps you understand the ocean more. It makes those 2-10 seconds that you spend riding the wave worth it so much more. You pay your dues. No one should ever be allowed to surf any point break without first having to paddle out in overhead Ocean Beach.

I ride a pink fun board with a peace sign on the bottom and a ring of flowers around the deck. This is not a common set up for a male to have. I like it all the more for that reason. When I go with friends to more advanced spots, people do give me looks. I dont give a fuck. Its nice to be able to have a board that says the same thing. And I'm not an asshole, if someone is really good, hell, I'll stay out of their way, but please, dont be a dick to me for no reason. So I love the fun board and it treats me well.

I continued to catch waves. I fell a lot for sure. then I caught my first shoulder and was so stoked I wouldnt shut up about it for a week. Then I caught my first decent wave. Peelers down south. Insane. Glory. Overwhelming joy. I wanted it more than anything else. I love the feeling, its the best in the world. Dont look at the pictures or watch the movies. Thats like reading a romance novel or watching porn and trying to equate that to being in love. Not a comparison. Wait till you paddle and have caught it, push the nose of the board down and stand up, turn down the line to cruise the shoulder that awaits - white water errupting a mere foot from your head - pump the board to cruise up the face and gain speed and just flow....

The best part about this is the whole experience. The days spent with friends. Being stoked for each other in the water. Talking about those waves you caught. Laughing about those ones you kooked out on. Eating copious amount of tacos and pho afterwards and watching all the pretty girls... its a community and one of the best I've ever found. We share a love for the ocean, for nature, for doing whats right and loving life, for caring about one another and creating a meaningful experience, traveling, learning and trying everything. Its unreal. I love the people I have met through surfing. I aggro assholes who cant seem to have a good time for some reason? fuck em. They dont know what they're missing and we sure as hell dont need them.

What do I sacrifice? a lot. I come home and pass out at 10 on Saturday. I wake up early and leave my wonderful girlfriend in bed all alone on the only days that we can sleep in together. I regularly have salt crusted all over my face and smell like a wetsuit. Our shower is always full of sand. I cannot sit still if there are good waves out there. I eat more than you can imagine just to break even. Sitting in 48 degree water is cold. Meeting the bottom after a huge outside set closes out on top of you is not a fun experience but it makes you become aware like you never would otherwise. And quite frankly, thats one of the reasons why we do it.

So I thought after those first few times I went out, when I came home with nothing to brag about and not a lot of faith in myself, that shit, I might actually not be able to do this. It might be something that is too hard for me. That was not a good feeling. I remember when Mike and Bill went from 6 foot gaps to 15 foot gaps when we rode BMX together. I couldnt make that jump and I didnt want to feel like that again. I kept paddling out. I sat too far on the outside, where I knew the huge sets wouldnt totally anihilate me for a while, but that also made it too hard to catch waves. So after I got the paddle out down better, I started sitting farther inside and apddling for more. I still need to sit farther inside and take more sets on the head but for now, I'm happy with it. Today I had my first session where I caught more waves than I counted. I went for fricken everything and I got most of them. I cruised down the line, I tried to beat every section and I had a really damn good time.

I guess the main thing I'm thinking now is that I dont want this to stop with surfing. I'm lucky enough to have had some great friends who helped me, gave me courage, and huge amounts of encouragement. I have that in other areas of life and I want to push forward there too. I want to do things that I dont think are possible. I want to break down the false barriers of life.